Some background. I grew up Lutheran and attended Ascension Lutheran Church in my hometown on L.I. My father took us to church religiously (pun intended) every weekend. We all, my two brothers and I, had communion and confirmation. We all went to Sunday School. We all complained sometimes along the way at having to go. My mother never went to church and only attended on "special" occasions like Easter , Christmas or when we each received communion for the first time and our confirmations. I have to say, I was very impressed with our pastor because even though my mom maybe attended church once a year, he always remembered her. Our pastor was one cool dude.
I did enjoy the church we attended and the people who attended with us. I remember thinking, whenever I did anything wrong, how god was going to "punish" me. I kind of fretted about it from time to time now that I think about it. I never told anyone that, not even my parents , and it's the first time that I'm actually saying it "out loud" so to speak (in this case I'm obviously typing it, but you get the point). For some reason whenever I got to sit in church with the other adults and go through the motions I was never quite comfortable. I never really understood why. It was almost like I was embarrassed by the entire experience of church. I always wondered why I felt that way.
For the most part, once we each became older and were allowed to have a choice as to whether to attend church or not, we all elected (accept my father, who I believe still attended after we stopped) not to attend church. As it turns out my brothers, who are both of scientific minds, consider themselves "atheists". At least my baby brother does (okay, he's not that much of a baby. .he is now 30).
Oddly enough, as I got older I explored more of my spirituality. You know, our reasons for being here , God and all of it. In my belief both science and God can and do coexist. They are not mutually exclusive. I learned to put into words why I was so uncomfortable in church. And that reason was because a person relationship with God is so personal that to stand in church with others and share that is like allowing someone into your most intimate of moments. I'm just not comfortable vocalizing my conversations, or lack thereof , with God in front of others. I get uncomfortable whenever someone just starts praying in my presence. It puts me at unease. I also figured out that while not one religion is "wrong" neither are they all 100% correct. In other words, the common thread is there and it's intent is good but it boxes the believer in and prevents them from seeing the entire picture.
I've also always had a problem with a perfect being, like God , that is supposed to love us being so angry all the time with his "wrath". Just didn't seem to fit.
While I don't believe that religion is a bad thing, it can be. Because those that are so tied to their own religions seems to think that the rest of us, who aren't, are damned to hell. So much so that they feel compelled to knock on your door on a random weekend afternoon (hence the scramble to silence the TV, any children or pets in the house and play the "we're not home" game..LOL) and try to convert you to their way of thinking.
Speaking of.. I remember one time I actually got into a mini debate with a Jehovah Witness about religion when they came to me. LOL. No joke.. I enjoyed the back and forth. I had her trying to get rid of me. LOL
Then, you have the Muslim extremists who feel that the rest of us, who are NOT Muslim, are infidels and we must be killed because we don't believe in their loving and peaceful god. HUH?? isn't that a complete oxymoron?
Yes, I know that these Muslims are not TRUE Muslim, because the Muslim religion is all about peace. But then I'm confused about how a religion can treat woman as inferior to men? Huh? Did not god create me, a woman , just as he created you? Why do I deserve any less or more respect? Does not god create us all with free will, yet I as a woman must bend to a man's will and not my own?
See what I mean about how religion can get things twisted and while it is right in some respects (peace , love etc) it is so totally wrong in other respects.
So, some may say that I'm religious because I am spiritual. While in one respect that may be the case, in reality being spiritual simply means that I do not subscribe, believe or follow any one specific set of rules in regards to how or why I worship God etc. I am gnostic, always seeking the truth and how I do that is by looking within to find the answers.. guided by my inner godliness (No.. I"m not saying that I am GOD or like him/her but that God lives within me because I am , as you are, a part of what makes up God). If it doesn't feel right, it isn't right for me. If I lie, I do not fear the wrath of God , for I know that he loves me no matter what, but rather I'm disappointed in myself for not living the truth that resides in me (hence why I am a terrible liar.. because I just hate doing it). I also believe more in Karma, which is not the wrath of GOD, but the rule of the universe... that what you put out is what you get back. So, if you cheat, rob, steal you will be cheated, robbed from etc. Like attracts like. In other words, if you are a good, honest person, you will attract and be surrounded by good honest people with the same good energy. And if there is someone that you "feel" is not "good" for you, then perhaps that person does not have the energy you require around you.
Tying this all into politics, I can never understand why people can not separate religion from politics. We probably do a pretty good job of it compared to other nations, but we still have a long way to go. For example, in regards to gay marriage many claim that it is because of religious reasons that they feel that gays should not be allowed to share the same legal union as a straight couple. Well, okay YOU don't believe in it.. but I, for example, believe that if you don't believe in it..then don't practice it. If it's against YOUR religion, than live YOUR truth and NOT live a gay lifestyle. But why should I or anyone else be subjected to the limitations put upon yourself for your religious beliefs? Same thing goes for abortion. While I would never make the choice for myself for many reasons, who am I to tell someone else that they have to limit themselves to the choice I would make?
So, while I may be spending my Sunday morning out jogging or on the Internet blogging rather than in Church reciting the same stuff every week, it doesn't mean that I do not believe in God, that I do not have spirituality. I live my spirituality every day, not just on a day of worship. I know of people who go to church on a regular basis, claim to be religious or practicing their religion, yet their daily lives are full of contradictions of what they are supposed to be practicing. I find this extremely hypocritical. I wonder if some people feel that going to church every week excuses their bad attitudes , bad behaviors of others? If going to church then gives them the right to judge others.
And don't get it wrong. I'm not saying that I am right, and anyone practicing a religion is wrong. I'm saying there is no real right or wrong for each individual. Because what you are or aren't practicing may be right for you and not for someone else. I do not feel that I am morally superior, nor do I have the right to judge anyone else (although there is a difference between judging and questioning)
I don't know.. I'm just saying.
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