Last year around this time I embarked on what was such a liberating and wonderful project. It was something that helped me find something that I had lost within myself over the last few years and that is confidence in my abilities. During it all I met what I thought were two extrodinary women. Together, we were bringing something fresh, new and exciting to Jim Thorpe. Never mind that all three of us had not a pot to piss in, that didn't matter. We were going to create something from nothing. We knew the idea was a fabulous one and if we put ourselves into it, worked hard, we could create a successful event and one that we could do year after year and build momentum. Sure, the first time around we were going to do it all for nothing so that we could build a foundation and from there create something that could make us some money, promote our community and have a great time in the process. In that, we succeeded. It was a hit, we had pulled it off and the entire town knew it! We were proud and felt accomplished. I, for one, couldn't wait to take on the next projects knowing that next time around all our hard work would and cuold pay off in some much needed little income.
At the same time I grew close to both woman and when going through a rough time, I confided in them because they were there, they were my friends (or so I thought) and I felt the comraderie of it all. We started working on our next show/event and planning for the larger event the following year (yes, this is referring to the Burlesque Festival). Everything seemed right on track. I was excited brimming with ideas as were they. Things seemed to be going well. Through the entire first show there was never any fighting, nothing that went on that I would classify as a problem. Then at a production meeting called at my house, one of the two girls took it upon herself to "fire me" from the production. I was shocked. First, how can you fire me when I don't work for you? How can you fire me from my own creation (correction.. our SHARED creation?) What gave this person the right to take it as her own? How could someone that called herself my friend and knew how much that show meant to me, turn around and basically steal it out from underneath me.
I soon found out that she had been talking behind my back for weeks to someone else to replace me. Not only that, but she went into the websites that I not only paid for, but created and maintained (along with the Facebook and Myspace Page) and changed the passwords ( I was the one that taught her how to use the sites, after all it was a collaborative effort and she had every right to access to it as much as I did). The other girl just sat there and said nothing.
I was appalled, hurt, angry and well yes surprised! I'm not one to really hold on to anger for very long but I find myself still very angry about this. I find myself still shocked at how abhorent their behavior is and continues to be. I say they because the other girl sat back and said nothing, which to me shows just as much as if she had done it herself. I, for one, know that had she been the one that the self declared "queen" of the festival would have done that to I would have said that that was not right ; that if it wasn't with all three of us like originally started then it wasn't right. But, she said nothing which makes her just as guilty.
To think, I used to babysit her daughter for her and I used to respect her and her opinions.
They have ignored all my emails to them about how angry I am and how wrong their treatment of me has been. So yes, I have been telling everyone exactly what they did to me ; done to me with no real good explaination why. Apparently they have nothing to say for themselves. How can you defend something that is so wrong.
There are other dissappointments as well and perhaps I will never understand how or why people do or don't do what they do, what they should do and what is right? I think that bugs me the most? What were they or any of those people that hurt me in my past, what where they thinking?
I thought about suing them ; after all they are about to make money of which some should go to me, being that I was instrumental in laying down the foundation that will now make THEM money and they cut me out. I did take down the website I built, I paid for and I maintained and so they had to start all over again at least. Instead, I decided to focus my attentions elsewhere and put my energies toward positive things, of which I have a lot of them. But occassionaly something flashes across my Facebook page about the festival, or I'll meet someone that asks me about it or compliments me on it and I get so angry all over again. And yes, you bet I tell everyone that will listen exactly how I was treated and wronged! No, I will not use some bullshit story she wanted to create as to why I was not involved with the show anymore. Why? To save her face? Hell no. You are, were and will forever be a bitch for what you did.
Have I learned my lesson yet? Or will I once again be trusting and honest with people only to be blindsided, backstabbed and surprised by it all. I guess I'll find out the next time something happens... or perhaps if nothing happens I would have finally learned how to protect myself.
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